Distraction
by BkWurm1
Summary: **Olicity**Felicity knew one day they would return to Starling City and the responsibility of the mask, but when the day comes, it all happen so quickly she never had the chance to find out what that meant for her and Oliver's relationship. It's time to find out. **Set at the end of Oliver and Felicity's Season 3 travels. Some angst then schmoop. I make no apologies. ;)


**Title** : Distraction

 **Summary:** Felicity knew one day they would return to Starling City and the responsibility of the mask, but it all happen so quickly she never had the chance to find out what that meant for her and Oliver's relationship. It's time to find out.

 **Distraction**

Their return to Starling City was a whirlwind. First came the desperate call for help, followed by the frantic flight home not knowing if they'd make it back in time. In the end, they made it back in time because HE came back in time.

Felicity didn't regret it. She didn't stop for one second to question what the Arrow's return meant to the life she shared with Oliver. There was nothing they wouldn't do for the people they'd left behind to guard their city and when she slipped on her headset and put her fingers to the keyboard, something waiting dormant inside her, once more, came alive. Team Arrow was back in business.

The worst was over now. Sighs of relief mingled with thanks. Scrapes were bandaged, bruises iced, costumes and equipment cleaned and repaired. One by one, the rest of the team quietly slipped away until she and Oliver were alone. Now all the questions she refused to ask before jostled rudely around in her brain like the players in a rugby scrum, circled together, pushing, shoving, and fighting for control.

She paused and blinked, trying to recall how she actually knew what a rugby scrum was, let alone the proper name. Probably from Ross dating that English chippy on a rerun of Friends. Some cable channel was always playing the show right around when she would come home from the foundry, too wound up to sleep, but too tired to follow anything that she hadn't already watched a dozen times.

" _I can't be the Arrow and be with you."_

Last year, she'd heard Oliver say it a dozen times. Then, miraculously, she heard him say he didn't want to be that man anymore and he chose her and for the past five months they'd traveled letting their whims take them any and everywhere. And they had been happy.

Smiles stopped looking alien on Oliver's face. Laughter became as common as the shining sun. Even the dark tendrils of the past invaded their sleep less frequently. Together, they began to face their mistakes and worked to fight off their demons, letting passion blot out impossible regrets and love soften old pain. She listened to anything he was ready to share and she opened up more about her family. They took the time to learn the remaining, prosaic, day to day details about each other like who squeezed from the middle of the toothpaste and who hated cones and only ordered ice cream in a bowl.

They didn't talk about the future.

Sure, they spoke of the next week or even the next month. They discussed ways Oliver might someday regrow Diggle's trust or Felicity's new resolution to someday learn Russian to translate the darkly dramatic, clipped tones Oliver hotly rasped in her ear and they both agreed that someday they would decide what came next.

That someday never came and now they were back in their city and now she knew what came next - what she'd always, deep down, known came next. Oliver was a hero. He was Starling City's greatest hero and he could not be replaced. Now though, his mission to watch over his city came from within without the former burden of guilt. He would live to protect, not just wait to die.

" _I can't be the Arrow and be with you."_

She would fight alongside him. His mission long ago had become her mission. She missed the work. She missed the people. Protecting Starling and watching over its heroes challenged and satisfied her like nothing else and no matter what, this was where she belonged.

Across the room, Oliver emerged from the bathroom, his hair still damp from the shower. He had changed into the same jeans he'd worn on arrival but Felicity recognized the dark blue Henley as the clean spare she'd hastily stuffed into a tote bag as they ran out of their hotel room. That reminded her, she needed to contact the hotel and make arrangements to have the rest of their possessions shipped.

As Oliver finished hanging up the new green leathers he'd found waiting for him, (Thea never doubted his return) Felicity turned away and began fishing in her purse for the business card from their most recent stay, checking pockets and moving things around in the bottom of her bag. The card had to be in there somewhere, she picked up one from every place they stayed.

Maybe she should have also picked up some card holders. Her organizational system gave out right around the time the glossy, cardboard papers tightly wedged together bulged the slots built into her wallet beyond capacity. Behind her, she heard the quiet tread of Oliver's familiar footsteps.

"Felicity," he said her name like a whisper.

She didn't respond. Instead, she tucked a strand of her loose hair behind her ear and examined her wallet more closely. For the most part, none of the cards in it were newer than Labor Day, but hadn't she found more room in the back zipper compartment? She heard a small sigh from Oliver.

"Felicity, I want to talk to you about something."

The bottom of her stomach dropped out. She wasn't ready to hear the words that would set the course of the rest of her life. Hands trembling a little, she continued to dig, afraid to listen and at the same time, desperately needing an answer even if she wasn't sure she knew how to survive if it went the wrong way. She tried to take a deep breath, but it didn't stop the tight ball of anxiety in her chest from growing. She loved him and he loved her, but lack of love was never their problem.

" _I can't be the Arrow and be with you."_

He never made promises, not about that. Not about what happened if...no…when. They'd lived in the moment and she cherished every moment.

"Fe-licity!"

Cherished every moment, even the moments when his stubbornness drove her insane. She spared him a fleeting glance over her shoulder, ignoring the happy skip her heart still did each time she saw his smile, even this particular one, edged with impatience.

"What? Sorry, I was distracted," she said. That wasn't much of a pretense. She really did need to contact the hotel and right now her mind was too crowded to even recall simple details. She nodded toward what she was doing. "I can't find the business card from our hotel. I need to call before they think we've skipped out on the bill and decide divvying up our things among the maids is the best revenge. I'd look up the number, but I can't remember if it was the Chesterton Field in Litchfield or the Litchfield Inn in Chesterfield and…," she stopped talking when Oliver took her overstuffed wallet from her hands and set it down on the table beside her.

"Thea's already on it. I gave her the details."

Felicity reached for her cell. "I should call her. They might not listen to anyone other than someone registered in the room." Oliver caught her hand and gently urged her to put the phone down.

"I don't think that will be a problem. Strangely enough, she said she's been working on a Felicity impression and looking forward to trying it out on an impartial audience." He looked both baffled and amused by his sister's hobbies.

"Does that mean she gave you a preview?"

"No, she's saving it for opening night. I understand early reviews are mixed though." Oliver paused and she could see him working himself up to a subject change. Oliver opened his mouth to continue but before he could say anything, she brightly jumped in.

"So becoming the Arrow again. I'm guessing that's the topic on your mind." Better she just ripped off the Band Aid. Oliver nodded and she rushed on.

"I'm glad, Oliver. Yes, everything happened fast but I really am glad for you and it's good being back, I mean, the new space," she gestured to the upgraded lair and stroked her hand over a gleaming hard drive, "finally getting to meet my babies in person, being with everyone again. Coming home to Starling - this is a good thing. Oh! And Jitters right down the road – I can't tell you how many times I wished they had franchises beyond Starling and Central City," she shook her head and smiled.

Well, kind of smiled. Her face felt stretched and brittle but Oliver's amused expression didn't falter. Ha! And Malcolm Merlyn said she couldn't act! But why was she putting on a front? She ordered herself to stop beating round and round the bush.

"It was time to come home, don't you think?" she asked.

Ok, so the bush beating was going to last a little while longer, but at least she gave him an opening. All he needed was an easy segue like ' _Now that we are home'_ and she'd have her answer. Her heart rate doubled and her lungs burned like she'd been running a mile. She couldn't pull in enough oxygen.

"It was," he agreed succinctly.

Felicity nodded back, stifling a surge of irritation. Right now she needed Oliver to be something besides his usual taciturn self. She tried prompting him again.

"Right, it's not like I ever expected to be gone forever. I swear every day for the first week I woke up half expecting you to change your mind but, you didn't. About going away. Which, of course, you know since you were there. With me. Obviously." She rolled her eyes and pushed up her glasses. What was wrong with her? She didn't do this anymore. Not with Oliver.

Maybe if he'd said more than two words she wouldn't have felt compelled to fill the silence and maybe she would have had a chance to catch her breath and string two intelligent thoughts together and then maybe, just maybe, she'd find the courage to openly acknowledge the pink elephant intent on parading through the room. No, she wasn't drunk but self-induced hypoxia might be making her IQ match the equivalent. She glanced at Oliver, half expecting him to be staring at her like she was that nutter Carrie Cutter with her heart shaped arrows, but he was lost in his own thoughts.

"I needed the time away, even more than I knew," he said, a smile ghosting around the corners of his mouth. His blazing blue eyes turned to her and the incorporeal smile tugging at his lips manifested into a full on sighting. He squeezed her shoulder. "I don't know if I ever told you how much it meant when you agreed to come."

"No. I mean, of course I knew. I wanted to go… but still, all good things must come to an end. I guess. I suppose. Vacation, not real life. Regular life, now that's something different," she said, making clicking noises and waggling finger guns. God! Finger guns? She balled her hands into fists and dropped them to her side. Humiliation burned on her cheeks. She stared at the ground and shook her head. "I mean, usually it's different. Sometimes though, it doesn't have to be. Different that is." She glanced up. "But sometimes vacation is the real life, not the other way around. Not the mint on the pillow or the round the clock on-call kitchen or maid service, though I suppose you grew up with maids and cooks and probably a nanny. _The_ Moira Queen would have a nanny."

Oliver had been watching her babble with mounting concern but now, yeah, now she was getting the crazy Cupid look and still she couldn't stop talking.

"After all, you were the Starling City Queens. Still are, just not that way, well as much, still are more than you let on. Broke, ha! How can you have a portfolio manager and be broke? Which isn't what I wanted to ask, not that I want to ask but need…,"

Oliver stepped forward and gently bracketed the back of her head in his hands and finally she was able to clamp her mouth shut. His forehead knitted with concern and his smile now just a figment of the imagination.

"What's going on Felicity?"

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. God, it hurt to be back here all over again, to the powerless place where the answer wasn't about logic that could be refuted or a truth that could be argued and proven false. You can't force someone to feel differently and all of last year Oliver had made his feelings clear. He loved her. And yet…

" _I can't be the Arrow and be with you."_

The tremors that had started in her hands spread to her whole body.

"Felicity, baby, please. Talk to me." He entreated softly.

Once when she'd asked Oliver to do something, he'd told her if it was her asking, he'd do it. The sentiment was the same on her side. The chaos in her head quieted even if the turmoil in her heart still raged.

"You're the Arrow again," she said, amazed how steady she sounded. "And that's good, but…," she paused, holding her breath even though she already felt lightheaded. She forced the question out in a rush, "Does that mean I'm too much a distraction again?"

Oliver jerked back, dropping his hands from behind her head. Felicity felt like she was watching everything from the end of a tunnel. The pit in her stomach threatened to suck her down. Oliver took another step back. He closed his eyes, tightening his mouth into a flat line before he turned away and pressed his palms flat against his skull like he was trying to contain the madness inside. A string of Russian curses slipped out under his breath.

Then, suddenly, the lightning reflexes that served him so well out on the streets were on display. Oliver spun around and came rushing back to her, reaching for her and pulling her into his arms. And just like that, she could breathe again.

Greedily, she sucked in air, oxygen and relief making her giddy. She slid her arms around his waist and held on tightly, pressing her face to the soft cotton covering his chest. He wrapped his warmth and strength around her, squeezing her just a little too hard but giving her exactly what they both needed. She never wanted him to let go.

She felt him shake his head before he spoke; his voice was thick with emotion.

"Should have told you. Should have said something a long time ago." He loosened his embrace a little and she lifted her head from over his heart. He waited until she was looking into his eyes. "You are _not_ a distraction. You…you are my _focus_."

She didn't need the words. She'd had her answer in his embrace but her Oliver was a generous man with those he loved. And, she'd discovered, a man with a hidden talent for tender, emotional speeches - though he tended to scowl when she stooped to call him eloquent. She blinked back happy tears.

"I didn't understand," Oliver explained. "I thought I could only succeed if I gave my full attention to the moment, to the mission and blocked everything else out because that was the only way I knew how to survive, but I was wrong. Living is about more than existing and you," he grazed the curve of her cheek with the tips of his fingers, love and awe shining in his eyes, "you opened up my world and let me see the whole picture.

I thought having something to lose would make me hesitate, but out there tonight, knowing you were waiting – that the rest of our lives together is still waiting – everything unimportant was filtered away. My head and my heart were clear in a way I've only ever experienced once before, the night I finally defeated Ra's. The man I am now - the man loving you has let me become – you gave me that. That clarity. I need you. I said it before but I didn't know in how many ways it was true and …,"

Felicity stretched up on her tiptoes, grasped Oliver by the face pulling his head down and silenced him with a kiss. She poured her fears, longing, joy, and mutual need for him into her kiss, unwilling to wait another second before she let him know. Oliver responded passionately, sliding one hand into the smooth blond curls flowing down the back of her neck and the wrapping the other around her waist, pulling her tightly to him. Her head swam and again lightheadedness loomed, but when they breathlessly broke apart, laughter, not fear chased her emotions. Felicity hugged him tight and leaned into his shoulder.

"I've always wondered what that was like," she announced.

Oliver brushed a kiss against the top of her head.

"Wondered what was like?"

"Shutting someone up with a kiss." She felt the soft breath of his laughter against her temple.

"So what's the verdict?"

"I definitely see the appeal, but then," she tilted back her head and smiled up at him, "with you as a case study, mine's not an impartial opinion."

"It's the only one that matters to me." He rubbed small, comforting circles on her back for a minute and then turned sober. "I hate that our whole time away I left you worrying about our future. I didn't think. I was careless and cruel."

"No. No you weren't," she insisted. "I didn't spend our time away obsessing over what happened when you put the mask on again. I lived in the moment, just like you. It was only now after…" For all her reassurances to him, she couldn't control the shudder that went through her. She never wanted to feel like that again. He tucked her under his chin and rocked her in his arms.

"I won't change my mind," he promised, reading her mind. "I won't push you away like that ever again. With the life we lead, I can't promise there won't be risks, but I can promise if one day for whatever reason I decide I can't love you and do what the city needs from me, I chose you. I'll always choose you. I can't do this without you."

"I don't want to do this without you either."

They stood together for a long moment, holding each other until their world felt steady again. After a while, Oliver cocked his head to the side. A confused frown pulled at his brow and a disgruntled note entered his voice.

"I couldn't help notice I said 'can't' and you said 'don't want'."

"Seriously?" She rolled her eyes at his nitpicking. "Well, it's not like our skills are slated for retirement on the exact same schedule, so technically you could be out with a pair of bad knees and a severe groin pull …"

"A groin pull?"

"…and I could still be fit for duty and apparently with a lot of free time on my hands, you know with the groin pull." She sniggered into his shoulder. Her teasing left him shaking his head and smiling.

"I don't know. An injury like that probably requires a lot of close attention and bed rest. Plenty of bed rest."

"So now you're offering me a bribe?"

"This brilliant, beautiful, crazy woman I love keeps reminding me to never give up, to find a different way."

"It's good advice and it just so happens I'm highly susceptible to you shaped bribes."

"Good," he said and then the laughter left his eyes, "because how will I heal without you by my side?"

Tears pricked the back of her eyes as she heard the real vulnerability in his flippant question. Once more, she rose up on her tiptoes. She pressed her lips to his, making her own promise.

"I'm not going anywhere. I love you. I mean, if this conversation had not gone well…," she trailed off, letting a threatening tone hang in the air. Something eased in Oliver's eyes. His smile bloomed again, making her heart jump.

"Had plans on making me see the light?" Oliver grinned down at her.

"Yup. Big plans." Her eyes sparkled and a wicked glint flashed in her answering smile. "The kind of plans that would make you wish for the serenity of being a part of the League and Ra's BFF."

"Not going to let me go, huh?" He asked, looking smug.

"Nope. Come on, let's get out of here." She scooped up her bag and tugged him toward the exit.

"I like that your eager to start in on that long continued line of me shaped bribes," Oliver teased in her ear as he looped his arm around her shoulder. She stifled a snort.

"Brilliant woman you love here. Got to lock down that deal." She started ticking off items on a list. "I want food, a hot shower, sleep and you – not in that particular order. It's time to go home," she said and then shook her head. "My place will do for now, but we really should talk eventually about where exactly is home."

Oliver stopped her as they left the building and stepped out into the night. He cupped the side of her face and pressed another slow, sweet promise on her lips. The street lights illuminated the now familiar smile on his face. He took her hand, entwining their fingers together. "Just so you know," he said, "I'm already there."


End file.
